Embryo mixup woman gives birth

On my CNN reader this evening an article (Woman in embryo mix-up gives birth to baby boy) about the family from Sylvania, Ohio that had an IVF mixup and the wrong embryo was implanted into Carolyn Savage gave birth to a healthy baby boy today.  This baby has absolutely no genetic condition to either Carolyn or her husband.  Carolyn was, due to negligence of the clinic, an involuntary gestational surrogate!  While I'm sure they could have aborted the baby that was not theirs, they chose to carry him to term and relinquish him to his biological parents.

I think what this couple did was an amazing act of generosity, receiving none of the benefits that surrogates receive, and going into the procedure expecting to have a new baby of their own in 9 months (they already had 3 children).  I can only imagine what a painful experience this must have been, for both the Savages, the biological parents, but also for this poor little boy, who became attached to a woman while in the womb and is now tore away from her, even if he is going to his biological mother.

It makes me think of the legal ramifications of this mixup, and the subsequent outcome.  First of all, US law states that the legal parents of a child are determined by who gives birth -- the LEGAL mother is the gestational mother as she gave birth to him, and her husband is the legal father because he is married to her.  This is the beauty of donor conception - the "parents" are on the birth certificate as the legal and biological parents because the legal system allows them to deceive.  

However, nowhere in the article does it state that the Savages were listed as the biological parents on the boy's birth certificate, or that his biological parents had to legally adopt him.  The article says relinquish, but that does not mean that legally the child was not theirs at first.  I would think that if the average American learned that the couple that was this baby's biological parents had to ADOPT him, they would be outraged!!  Sure, it seems like it's such a perfect little system when we're dealing with embryos who were supposed to be put in another person's body, but all of the sudden when it's a boo-boo on a clinic's part, it's this terrible situation!

The interesting part is that there was no possibility for the Savages to even keep the little baby, even though according to US law they ARE the parents!!  This story definitely turns the whole legal aspect of ART on its side.

Long lost siblings reunite with missing sister

I saw this on the TODAY show and now I hear that they did in fact find the second half-sister!!  This adoption reunion story is just too amazing to not post here.  Brothers worked together for several months before realizing they were brothers.  Their half-sister's fiance sees them on a local station in Maine, tells his fiancee that he saw her brothers and she goes to the furniture store they worked at and they reunite.  And now.....while the three were on the TODAY Show their other half-sister in Florida saw them and all four are now reunited!  It turned out that the two girls actually went to school with each other, and the one was told not to tell the other they were sisters.  Now they are all reunited as family.  A beautiful story, but at the same time heartbreaking that these four lost their childhoods and early adulthoods knowing and growing up with each other.

Long-lost siblings reunite with missing sister

TODAY Show

September 23rd

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Lots of updates in the DC community

Hello everyone!!  I'm terribly sorry for being so absent the past few months.  Life has been really hectic around here.....my last semester of graduate school is underway, I'm still nannying for my lil boy, and I have 3 other regular babysitting jobs (one on Wednesday evenings for 15 kids!!!!).  I've also been doing my practicum at CWRU's Cleveland Health Sciences Library, which has been going well and I'm learning a lot!!  

Needless to say, I've been somewhat negligent on my postings here.  I will try to post several times a month, but as always I can't promise it for sure!

So.......lots has been happening in the world of donor conception!!  I only have time to touch on a few things here.

Mainly, a law professor named Julie Shapiro has had a lot to say about donor conceived persons fight against anonymity, and in particular the term "donor".  She does not understand how such a term is offensive to DC adults.  Please see her blog here.  The post Anonymous Donors And What To Do About Them has sparked an incredible debate and discussion, and she has followed up with several other posts with regards to this first one.  Adoptees and DC adults PLEASE voice your opinions!!!  This is probably the most important comment Julie makes:

What I don't quite understand is why it follows that the label "donor" is unacceptable.  But accepting that it is, would "progenitor" or "forebear" (if that's how you spell it) be better?  I would be content with either of those.

If neither of those work does it have to include the word "father" and if so, why?

This begins an entire debate on the legal versus social definitions in donor conception, and how these definitions, whether we like it or not, are what is keeping us from our goals.  What is the definition of a parent, of marriage, of father and mother.  And it's not only the literal definitions, but how these definitions are defined and refined by different interests.

This is all I have time to update on right now, but please go to Julie Shapiro's blog and post comments!!

Seeking USA offspring for study on searching

Just realized it's August and I've been very bad and updating here!!  Not that my lack of posts should be excused, but between school and working now 3 JOBS I'm a very busy girl!!!

Finished summer classes...thank god!!  Still working at the library....hours cut drastically, boo!!  Got a job as a nanny for a 3 month old baby....good pay, cute kid, tough job!!  AND I've started interning at Case Western's Medical School library.....still looking for that single medical student;o)

So yes, that's been my life lately!!  I will try to update soon on the world of donor conception.  

In the meantime, an American graduate student and DC offspring is looking for USA donor offspring for her dissertation study on searching mechanisms of donor conceived for their donor and/or siblings.  Please email me for more information!!  

Here's a brief synopsis:

I am conducting research about the search experience of sperm donor offspring who search for information about their donor and/or genetic origins. Currently, there is little research available about the search experience of populations to which the search process is deeply meaningful and can have a lifelong impact. In addition, there is even less research available about the characteristics of a sperm donor offspring search for genetic information. It is expected that findings from this study will inform the information science community about the nature of deeply meaningful search as well as all individuals involved with donor insemination. 

As many members of the listserv are sperm donor offspring, I hope that some of you will considering being interviewed for my study. To qualify for the study, you must be a donor offspring in the United States who is currently residing in the United States and has conducted a search or are currently conducting a search for information about your donor and/or your genetic origins and are 18 years of age or older. If you volunteer for the study, I will correspond with you over email and ask you a few screening questions in order to obtain a representative sample. If you move forward from there I will send you more detailed information about the study and if you agree, we will schedule a time for the 60 minute phone interview; you will not incur any charges from calling me. With your permission, the interview will be audiorecorded. My goal is to interview 10-20 sperm donor offspring who have searched for information about their genetic origins and that have been searching for different lengths of time. Know that I am also a donor offspring and understand the sensitive nature of this information for some people. I believe that what I learn from this research can assist other donor offspring as they search for information about their genetic heritage and/or their donor. As a thank you for participating, you will receive a $10 amazon.com giftcard.

Blogosphere orphans

[Update: Oops!! This post accidentally got published without a title....so I've republished it]

So after reading an interesting post on Jenna's "Chronicles of Munchkin Land" yesterday about how as a birthmother she doesn't fit in with the mommy-bloggers but rather finds a safer home with the adoptees themselves - I realized that as donor-conceived adults and former donors we are in much the same boat.

Aside from a few heaven-sent recipient parents (you know who you are...) that actually "get it", most are ignorant if not spiteful toward those of adult offspring (and donors!) that are speaking out. Some wanna-be parents are trying to educate themselves, but the few that brave the potential criticisms are only a tiny spec of those using repro-tech to procure their children. I'm sure as hell that Sarah Jessica Parker did NOT look into how her engineered surrogate daughters may feel when they grow up, and Michael Jackson obviously did not think of it a decade ago.

Now, I understand that a decision that they made how many years ago may be being questioned, but as the parents, shouldn't they want what's best for their children - even if that may put them in a vulnerable place?!

So back to Jenna, and back to us. Why is it that the voices of those which whom create these miracle children (the birth-parents and the donors) as well as the children themselves end up pooled together in a world where our voices don't matter.

The majority of adopted parents and recipient parents (and infertility patients) have their fantasy and no one - and I mean NO ONE - is going to ruin it!! It's just so much easier to think that babies are always going to be cute and cuddly and complacent about their lives, and that birthmothers are always good-for-nothing individuals who would be bad parents and that's why the a-parents must step up and "save" their children, and that donors are just happy to jack off in a cup and get paid and want to "help infertile families". If someone tries to ruin that fantasy, well, they just won't have that!! It's their world, and just as they got the baby they wanted they get everything they want.

A world where donor-conceived and adoptees aren't happy?!? A world where birthmothers are good and stable loving human beings?! A world where donors may actually want to know about the children they created?! OMG!!! That just cannot be!!!

We're all adults here, but apparently due to the fact that adoptees and donor-conceived persons lack knowledge of their own genetic heritage and birthparents must be druggies and homeless and donors are poor frat boys that need beer money...........THIS MUST BE WHY WE'RE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS!!!

YES! So I have solved the puzzle - it has nothing to do with the fact that we have lost an inalienable right to know our biological families or that we are ripping at the sides of an established baby-making/marketing business and thus are a threat to human-kind.....it's because we're bastards and homeless druggies and frat boys.