Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Blogosphere orphans

[Update: Oops!! This post accidentally got published without a I've republished it]

So after reading an interesting post on Jenna's "Chronicles of Munchkin Land" yesterday about how as a birthmother she doesn't fit in with the mommy-bloggers but rather finds a safer home with the adoptees themselves - I realized that as donor-conceived adults and former donors we are in much the same boat.

Aside from a few heaven-sent recipient parents (you know who you are...) that actually "get it", most are ignorant if not spiteful toward those of adult offspring (and donors!) that are speaking out. Some wanna-be parents are trying to educate themselves, but the few that brave the potential criticisms are only a tiny spec of those using repro-tech to procure their children. I'm sure as hell that Sarah Jessica Parker did NOT look into how her engineered surrogate daughters may feel when they grow up, and Michael Jackson obviously did not think of it a decade ago.

Now, I understand that a decision that they made how many years ago may be being questioned, but as the parents, shouldn't they want what's best for their children - even if that may put them in a vulnerable place?!

So back to Jenna, and back to us. Why is it that the voices of those which whom create these miracle children (the birth-parents and the donors) as well as the children themselves end up pooled together in a world where our voices don't matter.

The majority of adopted parents and recipient parents (and infertility patients) have their fantasy and no one - and I mean NO ONE - is going to ruin it!! It's just so much easier to think that babies are always going to be cute and cuddly and complacent about their lives, and that birthmothers are always good-for-nothing individuals who would be bad parents and that's why the a-parents must step up and "save" their children, and that donors are just happy to jack off in a cup and get paid and want to "help infertile families". If someone tries to ruin that fantasy, well, they just won't have that!! It's their world, and just as they got the baby they wanted they get everything they want.

A world where donor-conceived and adoptees aren't happy?!? A world where birthmothers are good and stable loving human beings?! A world where donors may actually want to know about the children they created?! OMG!!! That just cannot be!!!

We're all adults here, but apparently due to the fact that adoptees and donor-conceived persons lack knowledge of their own genetic heritage and birthparents must be druggies and homeless and donors are poor frat boys that need beer money...........THIS MUST BE WHY WE'RE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS!!!

YES! So I have solved the puzzle - it has nothing to do with the fact that we have lost an inalienable right to know our biological families or that we are ripping at the sides of an established baby-making/marketing business and thus are a threat to's because we're bastards and homeless druggies and frat boys.