Who Am I?

The Tennessee Center for Bioethics and Culture has produced a YouTube video called 'Who Am I: A poignant exploration of what it means to be a donor-conceived child'.  A slightly melodramatic and extreme story, but the bottom line is the emotions that donor conceived children and adults feel in regards to their conception and the missing blanks in their identity.

Late discovery of genetic origins project

Helen Riley is a late discovery adoptee from Australia.  She has set up this site in order to gather more information and data about 'late discovery' experiences.  She's very interested in raising awareness about the effects and implications of discovering the truth of one's genetic origins later in life.  She's currently doing her PhD at Queensland University of Technology in Brisbane, Australia into the ethical implications involved for both late discovery adoptees and donor conceived adults.

Late Discovery of Genetic Origins

If you are a late discovery (adolescence thru adulthood) donor conceived adult or adoptee, PLEASE submit your experience to the website via email.  It is all confidential and will be used only as collated data which will be added to the site.  You can also provide your experiences in the comments section, at which it will not be confidential.

'Cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams

Are you confused at where to start your search??  Are you pressed for cash and don't want to shell out $50/year for the Donor Sibling Registry??  Here's a bunch of sites that I recommend as alternatives.

AmFOR Donor Offspring Registry (http://www.amfor.net/DonorOffspring/) -- under the group Americans for Open Records and Bastard Nation, it's the second best registry for US offspring, but is somewhat user-unfriendly to search and find matches....approximately 1,000 offspring/parents and donors listed.....FREE

Donor Offspring Health Registry (http://www.donoroffspringhealth.com/default.aspx?tabId=home) -- new and small registry where you can list donor information as well as health conditions which may or may not have been inherited from the donor....FREE

Donor Offspring Matches (http://www.donoroffspringmatches.com/) -- yet another new and small registry.....FREE

Searching for my sperm donor father (http://www.searchingformyspermdonorfather.org) -- site organized by Tom Ellis featuring several donor offspring's stories and pictures...any adult offspring can be featured, simply email Tom

California Cryobank Sibling Registry (http://www.cryobank.com/sibling_registry2/howtoregister.cfm)  -- for offspring/parents (and donors!) of CCB, I don't know much else about it but I don't see a cost involved...must have Internet Explorer to use registry (sorry Mac people!)

Single Mothers By Choice Sibling Registry (http://singlemothersbychoice.com/sibling.html)  -- not sure if it's free and it looks like one must actually be a SMC to join??

Australian Donor Conception Registry (http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AustralianDonorConceptionRegistry/) -- yahoo group for Aussies....FREE

DonorKind (http://www.donorkind.nl/) -- Dutch DC group/registry....unsure if it costs money or what it's exactly about since I don't read Dutch!

SpenderKinder (http://www.spenderkinder.de)  -- German DC group and registry…..new group that is slowly growing ----- DC adults in Germany have to deal with extreme secrecy so this group is cutting edge trying to make people aware

And here's some other resources (some which cost money) for DNA testing and other related databases:

CaBRI: Donor Gamete Archive (http://www.cabrimed.org/donorgametearchive.jsp;jsessionid=6410E1F5D8F023B1E2E1BFB3484AF1A1)  --  Donor X and Donor Y Projects for males and females respectively....non-profit organization founded by former donor Kirk Maxey

Donor Y Project -- males submit DNA sample for $25 and get their Y-STR marker values and those are placed in their database and any male sibling or donor can be matched since the Y chromosome passes through generations of males virtually unchanged

Donor X Project -- females must submit their DNA sample as well as their mother's and one other relative from mother's side (ideally a brother - even different donor)...this can cost $50-$75 depending on if a 3rd person is tested or not...the X chromosome that she inherited from her mother can then be determined and by process of elimination which was inherited from the donor - from there female siblings and the donor can be matched if they are on their database

As for finding siblings of opposite sexes, they also do a autosomal (genome-wide) STR test which is $100 per individual

UKDonorLink (http://www.ukdonorlink.org.uk/) -- DNA registry for British offspring and donors to find matches with or without any non-identifying information....£88.13 for DNA test, entry into DonorLink database for life (or as long as registrant wishes) and cross-searches for potential matches on the database at least monthly

Y-Search (http://www.ysearch.org/)  --  FREE public Y-DNA database service from FamilyTree DNA....can use Y-STR results from FamilyTree, CaBRI, and any other testing company which uses the Y chromosome for genealogical testing, can find people who may not be the donor but like FamilyTree could be relatives which carry the same surname (see How to identify your anonymous sperm donor)  ----- for MALES only!!

FamilyTree DNA (http://www.familytreedna.com/)  -- largest DNA and genealogical database in the world.....$149 for Y12-STR marker test and $259 for Y37-STR marker test -- MALES ONLY.....loads of other cool tests, but can get quite pricey

Genetic Testing Laboratories (http://www.gtldna.com/) -- $99 paternity tests (have a sale $89 test for limited time!) and $150 full/half-sibling tests....keep DNA samples/records for 6 months for additional testing of another potential match  ---- cheap, reliable, and fully accredited

Why do you build me up, buttercup baby, just to let me down??

Last week I was contacted out of the blue by a producer of a national morning show wanting me to come on the show.  My initial reaction was “oh my god!!” because I realized that going on national TV might be the only way I could draw attention to siblings and possibly my biological father.  But then I realized that I would have a heck of a lot of explaining to do to my parents, who already disagreed with the several instances I was featured in the media for my search, but I figured I was going to do it because it was a once in a lifetime chance.  So the producer called me later that evening and in the middle of discussing my story she asked if I had a close relationship with my donor……….shit!!!!

Apparently she was under the impression that I had already found the donor, and that’s what she wanted the show to be about.  So when she realized I still hadn’t found anyone she started changing the subject, asking me if I knew of any offspring and donors who would go on the show, etc.  I was quite disheartened to say the least, but unfortunately it’s not uncommon for those of us less “sensationalized” offspring who haven’t got any matches. 

So why is it that the media has a preoccupation with the “success stories” of donor conception?!  I was watching another episode of this morning show which featured a sibling reunion, and the way it was portrayed was that everybody found siblings on the DSR!!!  The media in general focuses on all the happy happy joy joy aspects of donor conception and rarely if ever even mention the losses involved, or the ethical issues concerned. 

I think it’s about time for the media to wake up and realize that our stories are just as important, if not more important than all the feel good stories!!  For one, it gives the impression that all offspring are happy, and have no ill feelings, and that everybody gets what they want.  Not once do the talk about the reunions and the siblings and parent-child relationships that have been lost for years – time that cannot ever be made up.

So to the media who only wants to see the fairytale happy endings, shame on you!!!  Why don’t you step up and do your job as journalists and actually report the TRUTH?!?!?    

Back in action once again

So I know I've been kind of slacking on my blog the past few weeks...I recently quit my job in Cincinnati (long story involving a crappy job and a nasty boss) and have moved back to Greater Cleveland into my parents' house (yes, we'll see how long this lasts before I become a raving lunatic!!).  So between moving, a rattie-related tumor emergency, planning a vacation, finding a new job (still looking...), a bout with a very nasty summer cold (complete with a nose that functions as a full-service water works and sneezes that rival the big bad wolf)......and of course spending entirely too much time laying out by the pool with my nose in a novel  ----- yeah, you can see where I'm going with this...........

Notwithstanding,  just wanted to say I'm back and will try to be more diligent on my blogging.

In other news...the letter to Fairfax Cryobank is finished and with 40 endorsements (including two organizations, 34 donor-conceived adults, a recipient parent, a former donor, a donor's wife, and an adoptee) it's being prepared to be send to the director, as well as Spermdonors (Yahoo group), DSR_Discussion (Yahoo group), and hopefully several journalists who have been writing on DC-related topics in the past.  Thank you to everyone who contributed their comments and advice, and for all of those who endorsed this letter!

Will try to write more soon, so stay posted!

8/11/08 UPDATE...... I've been accepted into the Fall 2008 Masters in Library and Information Science Program at Kent State University!!  Yeah, definitely a change from Biology and Genetics, but times are a-changing (and Lindsay can't find a job in her own field!!).  I want to specialize in genealogy - so I guess it's not THAT far off my original path!!