So here is my stab at it.
We are the 99%.
I am a donor-conceived adult. Only about 10% of us even know the truth of our conception, the rest will forever be living a lie to themselves and their heirs.
Our best interests and our lives are forever tied to an unregulated multi-billion dollar industry. We are threatened by the infertility industry and by society simply because we ask the question "who am I?". We are brainwashed and lied to by those who should care about us the most. Our entire lives are comprised of lies, even our birth certificates are fraudulent documents, nowhere mentioning that our biological father is a sperm donor, let alone his name.
Clinics and doctors are legally able to destroy any and all records pertaining the the creation of us, including the identity and medical history of our biological parent. Better records are kept of livestock than of us. We are the most sought after human commodity in modern times, and we are the product of a financial transaction.
Countries and states across the globe are rectifying this century old status quo and stepping up against the infertility industry and demanding changes in anonymity, payment, and the treatment of the adults already conceived through "donated gametes". Yet America refuses to listen and instead turns a blind eye to the grave injustices being played out on us in compensation for allowing an industry to function solely by its own self-set regulations that are tipped in their favor.
I work very hard but I will never have millions of dollars. I will never have the political power that comes with this wealth and the ability to sway politicians to my point of view. I will never have the lobbying power that is attached to the infertility industry.
All I have is my voice. I am the 99%. We are the 99%.
Will you stand with me?
14 comments:
With you all the way.Posted on my fb page too.
Of course I stand with you! I'll share the link to this post as well.
You should put it into a picture and share on Facebook and the Occupy pages. I bet loads of people will share that too <3
Thanks Von!! Amanda, I'll do that :o)
Well said! As an adoptee, I've always been very leery of the donor industry as secrecy is NEVER a good thing. My best friend went that route, only telling me afterward. I did some digging and found her son has at least 19 siblings, one of whom lives 10 minutes away from me....making for a very weird feeling, knowing I could run into her at any time (and nearly did at a Relay event) because I know I would not be able to stop myself from saying, "I know your brother!" Information is just information but it is essential.
Laura, I know there are many others in your same situation and it's heartbreaking for all. For the child who is being kept in the dark about his siblings, especially one who lives nearby. And unfortunately there is nothing you can do right now besides wait it out and watch. Perhaps you can try to talk sense into your friend, giving her links to resources that can help her talk to her son. She needs to realize that some day someone is going to accidentally tell him something and he will be very hurt and angry.
I have to say I'm liking what I'm seeing here I am a sperm donor myself but unlike most donors I know my soon to be Son and I have been to the doctor many times with the mother (actually went today) I cant wait to meet Vinny though I know I wont be raising him but I will be here when ever he wants and he will know who his father is.
Fantastic! Can I share the photo on Facebook?
Amanda, please do!!!
I shared! Thanks for posting!
Awesome!
Hi Lindsay,
I just discovered your blog by linking in from Amanda's Declassified Adoptee. Your blog is superb, extremely informative and well written. I am an adult adoptee and am very interested in the parallels between adoption and DC individuals. Looking forward to reading many great posts from you.
As the father of a 5-year-old conceived by DI, I've disagreed with Lindsay on a few things, but I have always agreed completely that openness about origins is a must (my son has always known since before he could understand, and although we used an anonymous donor -- something we'd never have done had we read blogs like Lindsay's before doing IUI -- we actually now know who the donor is anyway and I'm safeguarding that info for my son in case he ever cares). I was disturbed reading Laura's post about her friend and the 19 half-siblings -- I got the sense that the friend is not planning to tell her son how he was conceived. That is a mistake no matter how you look at it. Even if one would prefer to keep that a secret, which I just can't understand anyway, it is not in these modern times a secret that can be kept even by telling no one -- after all, isn't any kid born today going to be doing DNA testing in high school science lab? I got my son's DNA tested for $200, and I'm sure in a few years it's going to get so cheap that everyone does one as a matter of course. I'm even considering doing one for myself just for the heck of it (who knows -- maybe I'm DC too!). Thus, any deceived DC kid is inevitably going to find out independently that he's genetically not what he was led to believe, even if no one tells him. That alone should be enough to scare the no-tellers into telling, even if they don't just do it because it is right. Laura, if you are reading this, I wonder if you might sway your friend toward openness if you mentioned DNA testing? It would be such a horrible betrayal for someone to find that out after decades of deception, and I can only imagine that people who don't tell are planning to live the lie forever -- so someone should convince them that this is not possible anymore like it was in the past. It would of course be better to disclose just because it is the right thing to do (more of a Kantian moral imperative of respecting the rights of the individual to be treated as an end in him or herself and not as a means), but disclosing out of fear of getting caught in a lie and ruining a lifelong relationship (a kind of utilitarian argument for disclosure) is better than not disclosing at all.
Lindsay,
Can I post this on my blog?
Rebecca Taylor
www.MaryMeetsDolly.com
I stand with you. My sister has never disclosed to me that her pregnancy was the result of egg donation. I am furious with her for the deception and our relationship has broken down because I don't share her world view that it is ok to separate a child from its biological kin. My sister is demanding that I act normal and I am crushed, hurting, and branded in the family as the cruel heartless sister...... I STAND WITH YOU. In my family I may be in a minority of ONE, but still I take the pain to be in integrity.
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