Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The perks of being donor conceived...and other absurdities

Humor Alert: The following list contains significant amounts of hyperbole, tongue-in-cheek, puns, irony, and sarcasm. 

  1. You don't know your ethnicity, so every holiday is yours to celebrate!!  St. Patty's Day - Check!  Christmas - Check!  Chanukah - Check!  Cinco de Mayo - Check!
  2. You get to legally/ethically answer "I don't know" for loads of very personal questions, that most people don't want to disclose in the first place.
  3. You are a vital part of keeping the USPS still operating with the large number of birthday/holiday cards needed to be sent to your dozens (or hundreds) of siblings across the country/world.
  4. You keep DNA testing companies in business.
  5. You would greatly benefit from a frequent-buyer card with your choice paternity/siblingship DNA testing company.
  6. Your medical history is like a game of Russian Roulette....never know whatcha gonna get!
  7. Using words like "sperm" and "conception" on a first date are commonplace.
  8. First date??  Wait you need to get that DNA test first!
  9. You have an excuse for years of therapy.
  10. You can believe that your father is a celebrity...or a Super Hero (or Arnold Swarchenegger - HAHA) and not be thought of as having an overactive imagination.

Humor me, readers.  Lets keep 'em coming, what are your best (or worst) perks of being donor conceived?? 

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Oooo! These are epic. My adoptee brain must do some too....

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You are so lucky! You get to pick and choose and form your own identity from scratch!

Without knowing your family medical history you can't sit around and bum yourself out thinking of all the things you might get.

Now your partners/dates have a reason to get that DNA test they've always wanted.
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The funny thing is, people do really think it's OK to say some of this to us, in all seriousness, to get us to "look at the bright side!" *sigh* lol.