Blogosphere orphans

[Update: Oops!! This post accidentally got published without a title....so I've republished it]

So after reading an interesting post on Jenna's "Chronicles of Munchkin Land" yesterday about how as a birthmother she doesn't fit in with the mommy-bloggers but rather finds a safer home with the adoptees themselves - I realized that as donor-conceived adults and former donors we are in much the same boat.

Aside from a few heaven-sent recipient parents (you know who you are...) that actually "get it", most are ignorant if not spiteful toward those of adult offspring (and donors!) that are speaking out. Some wanna-be parents are trying to educate themselves, but the few that brave the potential criticisms are only a tiny spec of those using repro-tech to procure their children. I'm sure as hell that Sarah Jessica Parker did NOT look into how her engineered surrogate daughters may feel when they grow up, and Michael Jackson obviously did not think of it a decade ago.

Now, I understand that a decision that they made how many years ago may be being questioned, but as the parents, shouldn't they want what's best for their children - even if that may put them in a vulnerable place?!

So back to Jenna, and back to us. Why is it that the voices of those which whom create these miracle children (the birth-parents and the donors) as well as the children themselves end up pooled together in a world where our voices don't matter.

The majority of adopted parents and recipient parents (and infertility patients) have their fantasy and no one - and I mean NO ONE - is going to ruin it!! It's just so much easier to think that babies are always going to be cute and cuddly and complacent about their lives, and that birthmothers are always good-for-nothing individuals who would be bad parents and that's why the a-parents must step up and "save" their children, and that donors are just happy to jack off in a cup and get paid and want to "help infertile families". If someone tries to ruin that fantasy, well, they just won't have that!! It's their world, and just as they got the baby they wanted they get everything they want.

A world where donor-conceived and adoptees aren't happy?!? A world where birthmothers are good and stable loving human beings?! A world where donors may actually want to know about the children they created?! OMG!!! That just cannot be!!!

We're all adults here, but apparently due to the fact that adoptees and donor-conceived persons lack knowledge of their own genetic heritage and birthparents must be druggies and homeless and donors are poor frat boys that need beer money...........THIS MUST BE WHY WE'RE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS!!!

YES! So I have solved the puzzle - it has nothing to do with the fact that we have lost an inalienable right to know our biological families or that we are ripping at the sides of an established baby-making/marketing business and thus are a threat to human-kind.....it's because we're bastards and homeless druggies and frat boys.

A letter to Prince Michael, Paris, and "Blanket" Jackson

By now you have probably heard all the major media outlets advertising that your dad is not your biological father, and that your mom is not your biological mother.  I can only imagine how hard this must be, just days after your dad tragically died.

I am so sorry that you had to find out the truth this way, it's a cruel thing to do to a child - hide the truth about your identity and let strangers reveal it maliciously  to you.  Parents sometimes make these decisions (to keep a secret) thinking they are protecting their children.  However, usually it backfires.  Unfortunately, because of who your daddy was, this backfire has been made public and the entire world is watching you.  It's not fair, but make the best out of a bad situation.

But don't feel alone.  There are thousands (maybe millions) of kids out there just like you - conceived artificially and denied the right to EVER know who their biological parents are.  You three can change this!!  Stories are flying around that your dad's dermatologist is your biological father.  If this is true, you deserve to know, to know him - as your father.  Ask questions, demand answers!  Not only can you find answers for yourself, you can help thousands of other kids and adults out there who were conceived the same way!

Your daddy will always be your daddy, nobody can take that away - and it will take time to mourn his passing.  But you also have a biological father out there, and you carry half his genes.  His is part of you - he even looks like you!  While nothing can mask the loss of your daddy, I hope that your biological father will step up and give you guidance and love, and support through this rough time and as you grow up.  You deserve that as children and as human beings.  

You also deserve to know your biological mother, and I hope for your sake that she stands up and acknowledges herself to you and provides love and support.  A child needs both a mom and a dad, and to have only one and lose him is tragic but to be denied the ability to know both biological parents is horrific.

If you ever come across this, in a few weeks, a few months, even a few years - please know that you're not alone and that there are many others out there pleading for these same rights...and that one day we will prevail.

End of Anonymity: Is just knowing a name enough? (Re: Michael Jackson's children)

Right now I'm taking two summer courses for grad school and I'm starting my own business doing genealogical research (send me a message if you would like more information!) so my major writing here has been put on the back-burner until mid-July.

In the meantime, a donor-conceived friend of mine wrote this on her blog "Donorconceived" several days ago, I wanted to share it because it is such a powerful message.

"I cannot believe that Michael Jackson is dead. I'm still in shock. While he was alive there has been little media coverage on his children. They were always covered by either masks or veils and the public was left to wonder, do they look like their father? Who is their mother?



My parents used an anonymous 'sperm donor' to conceive me back in the mid 1960's and I've been involved in advocating for the identity rights of those conceived from the same method of conception as myself for the past 5-6 years. I and others, want to see an end to anonymous 'sperm/egg donations/vending' and 'traditional surrogacy'.



Since Michael Jackson's passing, if you Google search "sperm donor" you will find numerous articles on the nature of his children's conception. Did Michael Jackson use a 'sperm donor' and/or 'egg donor' and/or 'surrogate' to bring his children into the world?



I haven't seen pictures of his children until just recently and I have to say, they don't look much like their dad. Regardless, Michael Jackson was their dad. No one is perfect and I haven't ever spoken with his children but I'd bet that they adored him regardless of their biological/non- biological relationship with him. No doubt, they are in profound mourning and will require years to come to full (if ever) acceptance of their loss.



I do wonder though if they feel as confused over their 'donor/surrogate' conception as I and many other 'donor' conceived feel? Do they wonder who their genetic father/ mother/ grandparents/ siblings/ cousins/ ancestry/ heritage are? Do they feel a loss?



Now that their dad is gone, will they feel more open to explore what their 'donor' conception/surrogac y means to them? Will it take having children of their own to fully explore their feelings and how it relates to their own children to search for more information?



I advocate for the end of anonymity in relation to 'sperm/egg' donation/vending and surrogacy, but I also do not think that just knowing a name is enough. I believe everyone does have a responsibility for their own sperm/egg when combined to create a new (out of the womb) life (including 'sperm/egg donors' and 'surrogates' ) that includes more than just identity disclosure â€" and nothing less than open doors and open hearts.



Michael Jackson's children are not abandoned by any means but are they genetic orphans? I hope not. No doubt, there are many people willing to be involved and supportive in their lives but is that enough? I hope and pray that their genetic father/mother/ grandparents and extended family have also kept their doors wide open to these children. Love might make a family but we can't just write off genetics and the importance of genetic/biological family. They all matter."

Canadian Donor Conception Coalition Launches Website and Fundraising Campaign to Support First Ever Lawsuit

Canadian Donor Conception Coalition Launches Website and Fundraising Campaign to Support First Ever Lawsuit

Thursday, June 25th, 2009



URL: http://www.canadiandonoroffspring.ca/

[6/26 - 11:30pm ~ The above link was fixed ---- sorry for any inconvenience!!]

Today marks the start of an initiative to fundraise for the first ever lawsuit filed by sperm and egg donor offspring in Canada. The lawsuit was filed by Olivia Pratten on October 28, 2008, and will directly benefit all people in the province of British Columbia conceived via anonymous sperm, egg and embryo donation, or what is called "gamete donation". Details of the suit can be read here.



Under provincial laws currently in effect, persons conceived by way of gamete donation - unlike adopted people - are denied access to information about their medical, genetic and social histories. The legislature's failure to extend the legislative regime with respect to creation, storage and accessing of records unfairly discriminates against them contrary to their equality rights as guaranteed under s.15 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. The lawsuit also seeks to establish for all persons conceived by gamete donation their fundamental right to have an opportunity to know the most basic information about themselves, which is guaranteed by the right to liberty and security of the person in section 7 of the Charter.



The lawsuit has national implications as the situation in British Columbia is similar in all other provinces and territories and the Charter applies to everyone in Canada.


A lobby group called Canadian Donor Conception Coalition (CDCC) has formed in support of the lawsuit. The CDCC is an organization comprised of donor conceived offspring, parents, health care professionals, gamete donors and other interested persons. With the launch of their website, the CDCC hopes to raise awareness of the legal and ethical issues surrounding assisted human reproduction and to raise money to cover the significant legal costs of the lawsuit. 



All media enquiries and requests for interviews should be directed to Olivia Pratten at 416-655-1452. For other information, please contact Joseph Arvay Q.C., who is counsel for Ms. Pratten. 


Ohio libraries are in jeopardy!!

Governor Ted Strickland wants to cut state funding to Ohio public libraries by 50%!!  With 70% of Ohio libraries relying SOLELY on state funding, many libraries will have to close, or drastically cut their hours and staff.  

Please contact Governor Strickland (Tel: 614-466-3555 or 614-644-4357) and your local Representatives and State Senator about this appalling decision before July 1st!!

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Why are Ohio libraries in trouble? [From Ohio Library Council]

At a news conference on Friday, June 19, the Governor proposed a cut to state funding for public libraries of $227.3 million in fiscal years 2010 and 2011 as part of his plan to fill the $3.2 billion gap in the budget that must be balanced by the Ohio General Assembly's Conference Committee by June 30.The proposal amounts to a 30% cut in funding for Ohio's public libraries. This cut is in addition to the 20% reduction in funding that libraries are already facing, because their funding comes from 2.22% of the state's declining General Revenue Fund.

Libraries could close or face significant reductions in operations as a result of the Governor's proposal. With some 70% of the state's 251 public libraries relying solely on state funding to fund their operations, the reduction in funding will mean that many will close branches or drastically reduce hours and services.

The Governor's proposed funding cuts come at a time when Ohio's public libraries are experiencing unprecedented increases in demands for services.  In every community throughout the state, Ohioans are turning to their public library for free high speed Internet access and help with employment searches, children and teens are beginning summer reading programs, and people of all ages are turning to the library as a lifeline during these difficult economic times.  Ohio's public libraries offer CRITICAL services to those looking for jobs and operating small businesses.  Public libraries are an integral part of education, which Governor Strickland says is critical to the state's economic recovery.  But it is unlikely that many of Ohio's public library systems, especially those without local levies, can remain open with these proposed cuts.

About 30% of Ohio's public libraries have local property tax levies that supplement the state's funding.  However, with the Governor's proposed drastic cuts in the state funding for libraries, even those libraries will face decisions regarding substantial reductions in hours of operation, materials, and staffing.

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To learn more about Ohio's library crisis and to help save Ohio libraries please visit these sites:

Save Ohio Libraries

Ohio Library Council - Save Ohio Libraries

Facebook - Save Ohio Libraries (25,928 members as of 5:05pm)

Use Twitter hashtag #saveohiolibraries

@Ted_Strickland on Twitter

Ted Strickland on Facebook